Oh, BABY!
by SnowCalico
Summary: An early fanfic of mine using the classic Jessie and James have a baby plot. Keeping this doozy up purely for the 'learn from your mistakes' element. If the spelling mistakes don't kill you, the plotholes will.


Note: References to Mew are based (lightly

Author's note: References to Mew are based (lightly.. doesn't fit in with the continuity of that fic) on Alyssa's "Feathers and Foxtails".

Oh, BABY! 

------------------------ 

James had never been so worried in his whole entire life. The thought of his partner being so sick, it drove him crazy. He sat there in the waiting room, head between his hands, worst case scenarios jogging through his brain. He almost fainted when the door opened, until he realized Dr. Rhianon had a huge smile on his face. 

"Will she be ok, doctor?" he asked, trembling 

"She'll be perfect once the morning sickness clears up..." 

"M-morning sickness?" James stuttered "You don't mean..." 

"I sure do, congratulations, you're going to be a papa!" 

It took James exactly two seconds to collapse in utter shock. 

----------------------------- 

"I just...can't believe it." James said, shaking his head "US, parents?" 

"I'm going to get fat!" whined Jesse "Now what am I going to do with all those new dresses I bought yesterday?" 

"Oh Jess-chan, you will look just as beautiful as ever. Besides, now you get to go shopping for maternity clothes!" he beamed 

Jesse whapped him on the head with a paper fan. 

"OWWW! Where'd you get that from?" James winced before returning to his former joy "I can't *WAIT* to see what it looks like!" 

"Speak for yourself." grunted Jesse "All babies do is throw up and poop and cry." 

"Jesse, I guess your maternal instincts haven't kicked in yet, ne? Trust me, those thing won't matter to you..." 

"Oh and how do you know genius, how many babies have YOU had?" Jesse growled "I used to have to baby-sit my cousins all the time, blech." 

"It is different when they are your own. Come, lets get home now, and I'll fix you a nice gomokumeshi (dish of rice, fish and veggies)." 

Jesse licked her lips, nobody could cook gomokumeshi like James. He actually could cook pretty well, but gomokumeshi was his specialty. 

------------------- 

"Heh, I can't believe it. You two dopes are going to have a kid? I hope it survives you." Meowth smiled evilly 

"Shut up you glorified alley cat." snapped Jesse 

"I've borrowed every book on parenting I can find from the library!" James beamed "More gomokumeshi, Jess-chan?" 

"Yes PLEASE! I'm starved!" Jesse exclaimed dumping what was left onto her plate and practically vacuuming it off the plate 

"Who needs a Hoover when we've got you Jesse?" laughed Meowth 

Jesse chased Meowth about the house with a frying pan, much to James's disapproval. 

"Jesse! Come on now! According to this book, you shouldn't over exert yourself..." 

Jesse gave James a quick bang on the head with the pan "Geez, you'd think you were pregnant. I wish you were, I have a bathing suit I'm dying to wear this summer." 

"That is a fine idea, Jesse." came the ethereal voice out of nowhere. 

The three turned around to see none other than Mew before them. 

"What is she doing here?" Jesse gasped "Listen, we're not going to try and catch you OR your kid again. Honestly PLEASE don't turn us into mutants again." 

Mew chuckled "Don't worry. I come not to punish you. Your offspring will play a significant role in the future, and I want to make sure it is a bright future." 

"What do you mean?" James asked 

"Jesse, does not have motherly instincts. Her personality is rugged as a boulder. James however, has a side soft as a Pidgey feather. Therefore, I think it would be best if James carried the offspring, as to ensure its survival." 

"Hey...I think it just said you were a bitch in the nicest possible way Jess" snickered Meowth 

"What do you mean...he should...carry the offspring?" Jesse questioned 

"I mean that he shall be the one to go through pregnancy." Mew nodded 

It took Jesse splashing him with a bucket of water to save James from fainting again. 

"It does sound like a good idea James." Jesse said "You seem to know more about it than me. In fact, I WANT you to do it. For the sake of our child." 

"Alright." James breathed, turning to Mew "I'll do it." 

Mew closed her eyes, and the room filled with a glowing radiance. Suddenly a ball of mist was seen to flow from Jesse's abdomen to James's, and in an instant it had finished. 

"It is done. Good luck to you James." Meowth said before disappearing 

After a long moment of silence, a big smile came across James face as he said "Ok who wants desert?" 

----------------- 

The next day James was in the bathroom for quite awhile. When he came out, he looked horrid. His lavender hair was in a horrible mess, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't even shaved, as was clear by the stubble on his face. He collapsed onto the breakfast table. 

"JAMES! Are you ok?!" Jesse squeaked, running to his side 

"I'm ok, just a TAD nauseated." he said quietly, not even lifting his head "Just slide my pancakes under my face." 

"I know what would cheer you up.." said Jesse with a sparkle in her eye "After breakfast, we can go into town and steal some maternity gowns..." 

James lifted his head and gave the biggest most joyful smile. His love of wearing dresses was no secret, and any excuse to do so was paradise. At first Jesse had thought it strange, (even thought maybe he was gay, but if he was she--er HE, wouldn't be in his current condition) but it no longer bothered her. Breakfast went smooth as it possibly could, he still had to leave the table in a hurry a few times, but eventually they made it to town. 

"Ohhh I love this one!" James grinned, spinning about in a pink gingham maternity dress "The lace on the collar, and the little heart shaped buttons!" 

Everyone stared at him, only to be met by threatening looks from Jesse. These caused people to move on, nobody wanted to mess with THAT look. James was just about to try on one with ducks on it, when Jesse spotted Ash, Brock and Misty walking down the street. 

"AHA! Its them! Come on James, we can come back later..." she whispered, taking off 

"Thank goodness for that." Meowth thought "This whole thing was more embarrassment than I can take!" 

"But JESSSEEE!" whined James "Its the last one!" 

------------------- 

The two Rockets and the cat peered at the trio from behind a vending machine. They were busy looking at a Pokemon Shop window. 

"Oh isn't that Sandshrew *adorable*?" Misty cooed at the little creature in the window 

"Not as cool as that Magmar! I'll bet I could win any battle with him!" Ash exclaimed, pointing to the tough looking Magmar in the other window 

"Guys, unless you've forgotten, we need to save our money. We're almost broke as it is." Brock reminded them 

Misty and Ash sighed and they continued their walk down the street, Pikachu hopping behind. 

"That gives me a marvelous idea!" Jesse smiled "We can pretend to be looking for a Pikachu to star in a commercial. They'll need the money so of course they'll do it. Once we get Pikachu alone to supposedly put on 'Makeup', we'll snag it! What do you think James? James?" 

Looking around, Jesse and Meowth realized James was over by a bush barfing. 

"Something tells me this is going to put a real damper on our Pikachu-napping attempts." Meowth said, shaking his head 

"Yes, and we were doing so GREAT before." Jesse grunted sarcastically "I suppose we'd better leave James out of this one. Come on lets go!" 

"Right!" 

"Hey wait for me!" James called 

"No, you stay here." Jesse ordered "You're in no condition to be fighting." 

"Aw come on Jess! I wanna help!" 

"Oohh fine, just DON'T screw up." 

"Or throw up..." Meowth added under his breath 

James beamed and all three went to try the plan. 

-------------------------- 

"Hey! Guys look what I found!" Ash yelled to Brock and Misty 

"Pikahu needed for commercial, will pay top dollar." read Misty "Be at town square by three" 

"Alright, we can get some money!" Ash laughed happily "Then I'll be able to buy that cool looking Magmar!" 

"..and that adorable Sandshrew." Misty added 

"I don't know about this guys." Brock said rubbing his chin "There's something fishy here." 

"Brock you worry too much! Come on its almost three!" Misty spouted running off, followed by Ash and Pikachu 

-------------- 

Jesse and James were wearing business suits, sunglasses and had dyed their hair black to disguise themselves. They waited patiently for the trio to arrive. Meowth was the one in charge of telling other people who came with Pikachus to come back in 3 hours. Finally Misty and Ash could be seen dashing towards them. 

"Here they come, you know what to do." Jesse whispered 

"Right." James nodded 

"Hey! Is this where we audition for the commercial?" Ash asked 

"Vhy yes it ist!" Jesse answered in her best French accent 

"Vhat can ve do for you?" James said, also doing his best French accent 

"Well, my Pikachu would like to audition!" 

James replied "Ahhh yes yes zat ist a very nice Pikachu!" 

"Mmmm hmm, vee vill have to get eet to makeup right avay!" agreed Jesse 

With that James plucked Pikachu from Ash's hands, stuffed it in a rubber bag, and ran. 

"HEY! That's James! Come back here!" Ash screamed 

James actually might have gotten away with it. I say might because at that exact moment, he felt his stomach turning. So, instead of running into the building where other Rocket members waited to get the Pikachu, he dropped Pikachu, and went for a bush. 

"Pika?" Pikachu pondered, scratching his head 

"Hey! Er...what?" Ash said when he finally realized what had happened "Why did he drop you Pikachu?" 

"Chu Pi" Pikachu said with a shrug 

Brock, Misty, Jesse and Meowth made it to where Ash was. 

"How DARE you try and steal my Pokemon!" Ash yelled at Jesse "Why don't you find someone else..." 

He was stopped by James's now loud heaving. Everyone's faces turned green. 

"Is...he ok?" Misty asked 

"He's FINE! There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with him!" said Jesse nervously "Come on Meowth, lets grab him and go..." 

In a flash the three Rockets had disappeared, leaving Brock, Misty and Ash quite confused. 

"That was odd..." Brock stuttered 

Misty concurred "Yeah. Something is wrong. Why would James drop the bag so easily? He was almost there." 

--------------------- 

"Ugh. I can't believe how CLOSE we were." Jesse grumbled, sipping her green tea 

"If it wasn't for James's sickness, we might have finally gotten the little rat." Meowth sighed 

"I'm sorry you guys, I couldn't help it." James hung his head and a tear fell down his cheek 

Jesse's face softened and she rubbed his back "Its not that big a deal James-san. We'll get them next time." 

"Jess, don't you realize, we HAVE to leave Team Rocket?" he said, raising his head 

"What do you mean?" 

"We CAN'T raise children like this. We just can't. It'd be dangerous, and besides, I don't think *I* can steal Pokemon like this. We'll have to find another line of work." 

"But Giovanni might kill us!" Meowth piped up "If he thinks we could leak Team Rocket secrets." 

"We're never allowed to KNOW Team Rocket secrets." Jesse reminded him 

"Oh yeah!" 

Jesse said softly "James, I agree. We've been criminals most of our lives. Maybe its time we hung up our Team Rocket costumes." 

"We'll go tell Giovanni tomorrow then. I think when we got married he suspected it was close to the end. He shouldn't give a fuss, we haven't captured a Pokemon in years." James sighed 

"Lets go to bed now, its been a long day..." Jesse yawned 

"Jesse?" 

"Yes James?" 

"Do you think, we'll make good parents?" 

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, ne?" 

James nodded, and followed Jesse to bed....after a detour to the bathroom. 

------------------------------------ 

Approaching the Team Rocket building, the three felt a cold chill run down their spine. The site of this place always seemed to inspire horror in them. They tried to stay away from it as much as possible. 

"Jess...I'm scared." James whispered, hiding behind her somewhat 

"So am I." she revealed "But we HAVE to do it...actually...MEOWTH has to do it!" 

"WHAAT?!" Meowth yelled "What do you mean I have to do it? Yer the ones who made the decision." 

"But you're the top cat, remember?" Jesse smiled "Go on, hurry up! I want to get out of here, fast!" 

Meowth hissed and walked into the building. 

"Why do *I* always have to get the hard jobs?" he sneered, walking down the halls 

Luckily, everyone knew Meowth, so he had no trouble getting to Giovanni's office. Needless to say, Giovanni was never happy to see that miserable Pokemon. He knew he never brought any good news. 

"What is it now?" Giovanni growled, stroking the Persian in his lap 

"Er...you see...um...Giovanni...sir. Jesse, James and I...wish to...uh..well. We wish to leave Team Rocket." he said nervously 

"Why?" Giovanni asked, his tone one of surprise 

"We..." Meowth tried to quickly think up a believable excuse "...have decided to take up professional ice hockey." 

"Er....kay." Giovanni managed "I...guess you can go." 

"Thank you sir!" Meowth said quick as possible before racing out 

Giovanni pressed a button under his desk, and a woman came out with long white hair and light blue eyes. 

"Something is going on with Jesse and James, I want you to investigate." Giovanni ordered 

"I won't fail you." the woman smiled before disappearing. 

-------------------------------- 

[4 months later...] 

"Drat it." growled James "Jeeessseee my jeans won't zipper!" 

"James, you can't deny it, you're getting larger. Just get on those shorts with the elastic waist and lets go on. We're late for work as it is." she sighed, used to being the instructor 

"But those shorts clash with *everything*.....can't I just wear a dress?" his eyes glimmered with hope 

"To WORK?!" she exclaimed "Oh yeah they'd just be thrilled about that at the restaurant. No, besides you're not big enough yet. You can wear the shorts now COME ON! Meowth? Where are you?" 

"Right here." Meowth grunted, stepping out of the bathroom wearing a small tux 

Jesse and James stifled their laughter, but it was clear they found seeing the little Pokemon in a tuxedo hilarious. This earned them a scratch across the face each. 

"PIPE DOWN!" he sneered 

The three (after Jesse and James applied some peroxide) set of to their latest employer, The Charmander Bar and Grill. They'd had several jobs since they quit Team Rocket, and never seemed to quite fit in. Ok, so usually they'd screw up royal, but THIS time they were determined to keep their jobs. 

"Workin' nine to five, what a way to make a livin'!" James sung happily 

"You could, lose your mind, its all takin' and no givin'!" Meowth joined in 

Jesse just whacked them both with her morning paper "Will you two numbskulls stop that, people are staring!" 

"Maybe its because I have such a lovely singing voice!" James said, doing a first and sticking his tongue out at Jesse 

He was soon punished for that by two more hits on the head with a newspaper. He made a mental note to never give Jesse a raspberry again. 

-------------------- 

The three hadn't seemed to notice the white haired lady, they never did. She'd been following them for months now. She'd reported what she observed back to Giovanni...but he didn't believe her. Hell she didn't even believe herself. How could a man be pregnant? So she just kept up her investigation. 

--------------------- 

"What can I get you madam?" Jesse asked, putting on her biggest fakest smile "Our special today is Krabby Imperial." 

"That sounds delicious." the woman smiled "I'll have that!" 

With that Jesse took her menu and sped off to the kitchen, only to find James helping himself to some karintou (fried dough cake). 

"James! You're eating the people at table 9's ORDER!" Jesse nearly had a heart attack 

"It looked so delicious...and I'm oh so hungry." said James, looking up at her with sad puppy eyes. 

"You had five pancakes, six eggs, three slices of French toast, fifteen pieces of bacon, five sausage links, three bowls of Frosted Flakes, and a banana just an hour ago!" she yelled 

"But I'm still hungry!" whined James "Just a little bit of karintou, please Jess-chan? They won't notice!" 

"Geez James, one would think you were pregnant with an army. Make another karintou and eat some saltines, ok? Sheesh." Jesse sighed "Oh and some Krabby Imperial for table 12." 

"Aye aye!" James smiled, saluting Jesse before getting to work again 

--------------------- 

Meanwhile, Meowth was seating people...or at least, trying to. 

"I'm tellin' you people I'm da guy who seats you." he said 

"Oh isn't that *cute* a talking Pokemon!" the old lady smiled "Heres a poke cookie you darling thing!" 

She stuffed the cookie into Meowth's mouth. 

"I hate this." he grumbled, choking the stale cookie down. 

Just then Misty, Brock and Ash entered the restaurant. 

"Huh? Is that Meowth?" Misty exclaimed 

"Yeah, can I seat you? I'm getting no where with this lady." Meowth offered as another poke cookie was forced down his gullet. 

"Um...sure I guess." the trio replied. 

Meowth led them to an empty booth and gave them menus. 

"Here ya go, yer waitress will be here in a minute...ahem." he said, holding his paw out for a tip 

"Since WHEN do seaters get tipped?" Brock asked 

"Since I only get paid twenty-five cents an hour." 

"Er...alright." Brock shrugged, and dropped a couple of dollars into Meowth's paw 

Meowth thanked him and went back to the front of the restaurant. 

"This is strange." Misty said "Why is Meowth working here?" 

"Its probably another attempt to get my Pikachu!" Ash snorted, holding Pikachu tight 

Jesse then showed up...and did a double take when she saw who she was serving. 

"JESSE!" the three exclaimed 

"What are YOU doing here?" Ash growled 

"Trying not to have my landlord kick me out." she retorted "Now, what would you like? Today's special is Krabby Imperial--if James doesn't eat it all.." 

"Uh...actually I was wondering if you have any subuta (sweet-and-sour pork)?" Ash said a tad shakily "I haven't had that in ages." 

"Lets see...subuta...subuta..YES! We have some...and what about you two?" she said, writing down his order 

"Fried rice for me." Misty nodded, looking at the menu 

"I'll have the subuta too." Brock said 

"Alright if that's it I'll just take your..." 

"PIKA!" Pikachu called out 

"Wait, you didn't take Pikachu's order." Ash pointed out 

"Oh...yes...Pikachu.." Jesse shuddered "How could I forget?" 

"Pika chu chu, pika chu pi!" Pikachu stated 

"He says he wants a slice of apple pie with ice cream." Ash informed her 

"Ok ok, let me go give James your order." Jesse said, writing down the order 

"James?!" the three said in unison 

"Yes, he's the chef. Oh, if there are bite marks in your food, tell me know so I can whack him over the head. Enjoy your meal." she smiled before walking off 

"This is either an evil scheme...or they lost their jobs." Brock tilted his head 

"I think its the latter, they haven't tried to get Pikachu for months! I wonder what's going on.." Misty pondered. 

----------------- 

"JAMES! Where are all the orders?!" Jesse screamed, seeing the kitchen empty, and James full. 

"I guess...I sort of...accidentally...ate them." James smiled weakly 

Jesse whacked him several times with a ladle 

"You ACCIDENTLEY ate them? AUUGH!" she growled 

"What's going ON here?" came the gruff voice of the owner of the restaurant 

"Uh oh.." Jesse and James groaned 

------------------------------------ 

James, Jesse and Meowth walked dejectedly away from the restaurant. 

"Well, there goes another job." Meowth sighed "I can't believe *I* got fired because that stupid lady didn't think I was the seater." 

"Yet again I've messed things up for you two." James said quietly 

"Yet again you couldn't HELP it." Jesse shook her head "We're going to a doctor." 

"Why?" James asked 

"I want to know why you've been eating so much, I'm pretty sure its a tad abnormal. Plus, you look...a little bigger than most do at 4 months pregnant." 

"Are you saying I'm *fat*?" James sniffled 

"No no James-sama! I'm just saying its strange. I think we'd better get an ultrasound." 

"Yer gonna have to find a pretty open minded doctor.." Meowth said 

"No, I have a plan." Jesse grinned. 

------------------------- 

Nobody was as red faced as Meowth as the three walked towards the doctor's office. Behind him was a man dressed as a woman, and a woman dressed as a man. 

"Oh where *do* I get such great ideas?" Jesse beamed from behind her false mustache 

"Do I look alright?" James asked, adjusting his dress 

"Yes yes you look fine. Ok, here goes nothing!" Jesse said, pushing through the door 

"May I help you?" the receptionist asked 

"Yes." Jesse bellowed in her male voice impression "We're Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we have an appointment for an Ultrasound at six with Doctor Muldoon." 

"Ah, yes, here it is. The doctor will be right with you." the receptionist said 

So Jesse, James and Meowth sat down in the waiting room, nervously awaiting the doctor. 

"I still don't see why I had to come." Meowth whispered "Who takes their POKEMON to the doctors office?!" 

"You're here for emotional support." Jesse said "Now shut up and read a magazine." 

"These magazines are all five years old!" hissed Meowth "They don't even have Pokemon Digest! Grrr!" 

It wasn't long before Dr. Muldoon called for Jesse and James. Meowth managed to find a crossword puzzle to keep him occupied, so he stayed behind. 

----------------- 

The white haired lady snickered, this was PERFECT evidence! If she could get a picture of the ultrasound it'd PROVE to the boss that James was pregnant. She knew evidence like this could indeed make Team Rocket rich...well...maybe. It had to be worth something. She sat behind a potted plant in the ultrasound room, waiting with her camera. 

--------------- 

James felt more than a bit awkward lying there on the table, his stomach exposed. This was obvious because he was blushing beet red. He just prayed that the doctor didn't pull his undies down *too* far. 

"Well Mr. Smith, I can certainly tell you why Mrs. Smith has been eating so much." the doctor chuckled 

"She's expecting twins." 

"TWINS?!" Jesse and James gasped, and they both thought "Mew didn't say anything about twins....did she?" 

"That's right, its always a shock and a joy to parents. They're quite healthy...if not a little chubby. I don't think ALL of Mrs. Smith's tummy is baby fat." the doctor smiled wryly 

"Well, thank you so much doctor, we MUST be going!" James exclaimed before he and Jesse took off 

"HEY! WAIT!" the doctor yelled after them, but they'd already gone without a trace. 

From behind the potted plant, the white haired lady grinned in satisfaction, and escaped through an open window. 

--------------------- 

"I can't believe there's TWO in there." James said, shaking his head 

"I know....TWO kids to look after." Jesse groaned "How will we be able to do it?" 

"Lots of duct tape." Meowth joked, munching on some rice 

"We'll love both of you equally." James cooed 

"Huh? What are you doing James?" Jesse asked 

"Talking to them. I heard it helps. I've been talking to them for awhile now, sometimes I sing too!" he beamed "Their favorite is 'Baabaa Black Sheep'" 

"Oh brother." Meowth sighed "This is ridiculous. I'm goin' to bed before I start going nuts too." 

------------------- 

"So you see by these pictures, he is most certainly pregnant. With twins no less." the white haired lady grinned, showing Giovanni the photos 

"These could have easily been faked." Giovanni snorted 

"You have NO faith in me at ALL?! How long have I given you quality service?" 

"Calm down Lucy. Alright. I believe you. I still don't understand how this will assist us any?" 

"Could you imagine what *money* people would pay to see such a thing?" Lucy said with a gleam in her eye "With all the money we've been losing lately, it'd be a great boost!" 

"I see your point. I'll send some men over to get James tomorrow morning. Its about time that good for nothing drop out made me money." Giovanni replied 

"Beautiful...now where's MY share of the money?" Lucy asked, flashing her claws 

"It will come to you when we catch him, until then, you're not getting a red cent." 

"Fair enough." whispered Lucy before disappearing into the shadows. 

------------------------- 

James was having a wonderful dream. It was the one where he was the Pokemon champ of the world, he had it often. His favorite part was when he beat Ash and his stupid Pikachu. He was awoken from his pleasant dream by a loud noise. Looking around startled, he decided it must have been nothing. He turned his gaze to Jesse who slept soundly beside him and a huge smile crossed his lips. James ran a hand up and down her shoulder and softly kissed her forehead. Just as he was about to cuddle back down beside her, he heard the noise again, and this time it awoke Jesse. Then Meowth sped into the room, quiet as possible closing and locking the door behind him. 

"What is it?!" Jesse said quietly as she could in her fear 

"They're....Team Rocket agents.." Meowth managed to utter 

Panic filled all three of their minds, as the noises came closer. 

------------------------------------------------------------------ 

"WHAT are we going to do?" Jesse said 

"What would Brian Boitano do?" James scratched his head 

"Who is Brian Boitano?" asked Meowth and Jesse in unison 

"I don't know...something just told me to say it." he shrugged 

"The window! We'll have to escape that way!" Jesse exclaimed, opening up the window and climbing out, followed by Meowth. 

"Wait! If we're going to run away I have to get some things." James yelled, and quickly went to grab some of his favorite clothes (both male and female). 

Sadly, this was a mistake for at that moment a Team Rocket agent burst through the door, and held a gun to James's head. Poor James shivered and tears ran down his cheeks. 

"Say one word to your friends and I'll blow yer brains out." snarled the agent "You're going to walk out to the truck in back silently. Now MOVE IT!" 

James complied, scared to death. He didn't notice Jesse and Meowth watching everything from behind a tree, trying to figure out a way to save him. He was soon in the pen on the back of the truck, and it began to drive away. 

"JESSE! MEOWTH! HELP!" he called with tears in his eyes, as his hand reached out desperately through the bars 

Meowth lunged forward, but just nearly missed the moving vehicle. Before anything could me done, it was far away. 

"Oh....James." Jesse cried painfully, and hugged Meowth 

"Jesse, we can't just sit here and cry, we have to save him. We know who kidnapped him, and we know WHERE to go. Its just matter of getting in..." 

---------------------- 

Alas, Meowth was wrong. For you see, James was not being taken to Team Rocket head quarters, he was being taken to one of its Warehouses on Cinnabar Island. Giovanni was waiting there when the truck arrived at about noon that day. 

"Well James, long time no see." he smiled fiendishly 

James simply cowered at the back of the pen on the truck, afraid of what his old boss would do to him. Wishing he'd just wake up and it'd would have all been a nightmare caused by too much chocolate pudding. However all he felt was a gun being pushed into his back. 

"Stand up straight so the boss can get a look at you, NOW!" said the agent with a sneer 

James stood straight up, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. 

"He does seem a little rounder, I guess I was foolish to doubt Lucy's story. Hopefully he'll help us recover all that money he LOST us. Now there's irony." grinned Giovanni 

James simply looked at the ground, wondering if he'd ever see Meowth or Jesse again. 

--------------------------- 

[2 months later] 

James sat with his back leaning against one of the walls of his cell. He stroked his stomach lovingly, as a single tear ran down his cheek. 

"It wasn't supposed to be this way, I'm so sorry." he sniffled "Now you're going to be born as nothing more than a sideshow act. All because I couldn't leave the house without my poodle skirt. Your mom is out there somewhere worried sick. I'm a terrible parent!" 

He was now 6 months along, and showing quite a bit. As it was he was wearing a gown, but he didn't eat as much. This was mostly out of depression, in fact they had to force feed him as of late. His usually shiny lavender hair had become ratty and lackluster. His eyes, which usually sparkled like emeralds, were dark and empty. He'd lost most of his hope. He just sat in his cell and went over the doom he had caused for his children, and wondered where Jesse and Meowth were. 

--------------------------- 

Meowth scanned the beach, looking hopefully for any Pokemon that could get them to Cinnabar. They had found out (using some bribery) where James was being kept. They only prayed he was still alive. Who knows what Giovanni wanted him for. 

"AHA! There!" Meowth smiled "On that beach blanket, a Lapras!" 

Jesse and Meowth rushed quickly to the sun bathing creature, and Meowth began speaking. 

"Excuse me sir.." 

"Lap!" 

"Oh I'm sorry ma'am. My friend and I are in desperate need of a ride to Cinnabar to save a friend!" 

"Pras lap lap..?" 

"Yes we USED to belong to Team Rocket, but we quit that! We need help to save our friend from them. Please?" 

"Lap...pras lap." the Lapras nodded, and headed torwards the water 

"She says she'll help!" cheered Meowth 

"Wonderful! Oh I do hope James is alright, if he's not, I don't know what I'll do." Jesse sighed 

The two hopped on the Lapras and set off for Cinnabar, hoping it wasn't too late. 

------------------- 

"He's very sick sir." the man told Giovanni "We have no idea what is causing it, but, if he doesn't recover soon, he and the babies will die." 

"...and we'll have lost more money." Giovanni whispered, holding his Persian in his arms "Somehow he always manages to do that." 

James couldn't hear or see anything, he had a very high fever. He just lay there on the cold floor of his cell, eyes wide open but seeing nothing. He was lost in a fever dream. One of those cold unending nightmares that seem so real. In them he was always seeing Jesse and Meowth in trouble, and it was always his fault. 

"Jesse...Meowth...I'm sorry." he yelled, all of a sudden a familiar voice answered him 

"Its alright James, we're here. We're taking you home James." it was Jesse's voice 

This wasn't part of the dream, Jesse and Meowth were really there. Giovanni had given them permission to take James...on one condition. That their children serve 10 years of their lives for Team Rocket. Jesse had to rescue her friend, regardless of the consequences. As she held him, she noticed he seemed to recover some, his eyes saw her. 

"Jesse..I'm sorry." he breathed 

"Don't be sorry, everything will be fine soon." Jesse smiled, at least she hoped it would be. 

--------------- 

James's fever cleared up in a matter of days, and his appetite was back with vengeance. In fact, Meowth later joked that he seemed to eat nonstop those days of his recovery, as if making up for lost time. He became the old James again. He seemed happier now, glad to be back with his "family". He also had taken to knitting, which was actually kinda cute. He'd sit there in a chair knitting away at something (he wasn't very good so you couldn't quite tell *what* he was knitting, but it was something), singing like a chickadee. Due to how large he was getting, he was wearing dresses full time, not that he minded. Life went pretty smoothly, one day in fact was quite memorable. 

"OUCH!" James cried out of nowhere 

"What's wrong James?" asked Jesse, who was reading a magazine 

"I think I've just been kicked." he exclaimed "Whoever did it is a strong sucker. Its usually the one on the right that gives such jabs." 

"You get kicked often?" 

"Oh are you KIDDING? The two of them seem to enjoy beating me up. Usually right when I'm about to go to sleep. You really ought to feel it, quite amazing." he beamed running a hand softly over his abdomen 

Jesse smiled widely as she felt the little feet kicking her hand. 

"They are certainly healthy." she grinned "They're gonna give us a run for the money." 

"Hey, I hate to break up the Kodak moment, but we need food! We're all outta bread, milk, sugar...and catnip!" Meowth reminded them 

"We need money to get food!" yelled Jesse "...and we haven't THAT either." 

"We could have a yard sale." James offered "I have a bunch of old junk I could sell." 

"Me too." Jesse nodded 

"Ohhh no, I'm not giving up my bottle cap collection!" Meowth hissed "You can't make me!" 

"Huh?" Jesse and James gave him confused looks "YOU have a bottle cap collection?" 

Soon they were laughing their heads off. 

"Oh don't make me start about your ROCK collection Jesse or your doll collection JAMES." Meowth laughed 

"Alright, lets get together all the stuff we want to sell....if we want to eat tonight we HAVE to get some cash." Jesse commanded 

Everyone scrambled about getting items from here and there, until they had a nice pile of stuff. Setting up tables outside they waited patiently for someone to come by. As irony would have it, their first customers were Ash, Misty and Brock. 

"UGH! Why do we keep running into them?" Jesse whispered "This is so embarrassing." 

"Maybe they'll buy my quilt I knitted!" James smiled, referring to the tangled mess of yarn thrown over a rocking chair 

"Yeah...maybe." Jesse said weakly 

"Team Rocket! Having a yard sale?" Ash exclaimed 

"We're not Team Rocket anymore. We're just Jesse, James and Meowth." James stated matter-of-factly before adding "Would you like to buy my quilt?!" 

"James...have you put on some weight?" Misty asked 

James blushed beet red and covered his stomach "A little." 

"James almost looks...er...pregnant." Brock remarked 

"How did you know?" James blurted out before realizing his mistake 

"What?!" the three good guys did a double take 

"Ugh...nice going brainiac." Jesse sighed "Ok, here it goes. I got pregnant but Mew said James would make a better mother so he took the babies from me and put them in James. You gonna buy some stuff or WHAT?!" 

"Er...yeah I guess so." Ash scratched the back of his head, and the three began to look around 

"Hey this looks pretty cool!" Brock said, picking up a cooking pot "How much for this?" 

"Eighty dollars." Jesse replied 

"That's outrageous!" Brock screamed 

"Hey, there are three of us to feed." Jesse informed him "Five if you count the bottomless pits James is carrying. We can't live on Ramen noodles here buddy." 

"But eighty dollars? I haven't got that!" 

"Forty?" 

"Ten." 

"Twenty-Five." 

"Fifteen." 

"Done." 

Somewhat upset Jesse accepted the fifteen dollars and gave Brock the cooking pot. Misty bought an aquarium and some jewelry, and Ash bought some Pokeballs. They left, a bit weirded out by the whole James situation, but glad they didn't have to worry about the two jumping in anymore. 

"Well, we made Forty dollars total. That should be enough for dinner tonight." Jesse looked down "But still, its not going to take us through the week. 

"Relax Jess." James said "We still have all day to sell stuff, who knows what could happen?" 

Nobody else stopped, and the gang looked really really depressed. They were just about to pack everything up when a limo pulled up and a man jumped out looking very excited. 

"Its BEAUTIFUL! I must have it! Its the most exquisite piece of art I've ever *seen*!" he said flailing his arms wildly 

"What are you talking about?" Meowth asked confused 

"THAT!" the man exclaimed pointing to James's quilt 

"That's not art that's a q-mmprrrhmm." James's sentence was stopped by Jesse's hand 

"Oh, yes THAT. That is a very rare piece. It doesn't come cheap." Jesse said with a sly grin 

"Would a thousand dollars suffice?" the man offered 

"A...thousand....dollars?!" Jesse's jaw dropped 

"Yes I know its not much, but its all I have on me." he apologized 

"Well it'll just have to do I guess." Jesse held in her excitement 

The man paid for the qui--er artwork, and sped off. Leaving Jesse, James and Meowth dancing. 

"We're not gonna starve to death!" they yelled 

A thousand dollars would be able to keep them with food until they could find jobs again. 

"I TOLD you it was a nice quilt" James simply said 

--------------------------- 

The months passed, and soon James was 8....nearly 9 months along. He was huge. Needless to say, he wasn't exactly cheery either... 

"Ugh how much longer? My feet are killing me." he whined "I can't even SEE them." 

"I hope its over soon." Meowth sighed "I can't stand all this extra whining. Plus, hes gonna eat us broke in no time." 

"It will be tonight." came the voice of Mew, there she was in their living room. 

"HOW do you get in here?!" Jesse exclaimed "...and HOW exactly is he going to give birth? He's not exactly equipped right..." 

"Don't doubt my powers." Mew said "If I can give him a womb, there's not much I can't do." 

"You're not going to give him.." she look startled 

"No no, of course not...this is a PG-13 fanfic." Mew stated "Just know I'll make it possible. See you then." 

With that Mew vanished quickly as she'd come. 

"Oh I'm so EXCITED!" James's mood changed drastically "Tonight we're going to become PARENTS! I have to finish the baby blanket!" 

"Tonight my hopes of getting a full nights sleep are over." Meowth growled 

------------------------- ,pIt was about 10:00, James was knitting the baby blanket and humming a cheery tune. Jesse was reading her magazine on European fashion, and Meowth was chasing a ball of string about. All of a sudden James dropped his knitting and clenched his teeth. 

"I think its time." he managed "Oh hell yes its time..." 

"Where's Mew where's Mew where's MEW!" Jesse began to panic, running about 

"Calm down human, I am here." her voice said calmly, sure enough there she was in the middle of the room 

"He's in labor. Hurry please." Jesse demanded "He looks like he's in pain." 

"He's not in pain yet." Mew told her "He won't be in pain for another 15 minutes exactly. I want you to hold his hand Jesse. Meowth get something for the babies to be put in." 

Jesse took James's hand tightly, and Meowth ran off to get the bassinets that had been bought months earlier for the babies. 

"Well, this is it." smiled Jesse "Its only a matter of time now. Our lives will change drastically." 

"I can't wait, you'll be a great mom, Jess-chan." James replied lovingly 

"You'll be a wonderful dad." she said softly 

After awhile, James was obviously in pain. LOTS of pain. He squeezed Jesse's hand so hard she thought SHE'D scream, but she knew she had to comfort James. His green eyes looked up at her, showing a mixture of pain and joy.... 

"AUGH! I changed my mind I changed my mind! You're magic or whatever Mew, DO SOMETHING!" James yelled, along with several curses not to be mentioned here 

"No. Women cannot have smooth easy labor, I shall not give you special treatment James." Mew chuckled a bit "It will all be over before you know it. Now, I want you to push.." 

"But...I.." James stuttered 

"Trust me, push." Mew advised "Meowth, are the bassinets ready?" 

"Yes ma'am! Both of em!" Meowth answered 

"No, you need three." Mew said 

"THREE?" James, Jesse and Meowth all yelled 

"Yes. Three. There are three offspring. Get me one more bed." Mew said with some impatience 

"A...Alright." Meowth responded, bringing back, his cat bed "This is all I could find." 

"It will do." Mew nodded 

"I...I don't understand." Jesse pondered "The ultrasound only showed two babies." 

"Human machines are not perfect." Mew said "Now, its time. Push James." 

James pushed, and the pain was almost unbearable. The more he pushed, the more he felt some kind of energy move in his body. It was then that the glowing orb of light arose from his abdomen. Finally with one mighty push, it came out all the way. Mew then guided it to one of the bassinets. In the blink of an eye it turned into a crying baby. 

"Its a boy, and he looks just like James!" Meowth announced 

Really, James wasn't paying much attention, he was too busy pushing the second orb out. He hadn't been at it too long, but he felt exhausted. However he knew how important this task was, and pushed with every bit of strength he had. The second orb was soon out, and quickly escorted by Mew to the second bassinet. Where it became a baby girl that looked just like Jesse. 

"One more left. Then you can rest James." Mew coached 

James was surprised to find the final orb took little time to push out. The reason became clear when he noticed it was smaller than the other orbs, and it seemed to be a different color and glow brighter. All eyes watched it as it landed in Meowth's cat bed. 

When it became a baby, everyone gasped loudly at the site before them. 

-------------- 

There, in Meowth's cat bed was a very tiny baby. It was a boy, its hair was long and lavender, with streaks of crimson. His eyes were teal, but by far the feature that stood out the most, was the fact he had wings. They were probably bigger than he was, and he obviously had no control over them as of yet. He flailed them about as he did his arms and legs. What was funny though, he wasn't crying. In fact, he seemed very happy. 

"I can't believe it.." Jesse finally managed to utter "He has wings." 

"This child is very special." Mew said "He is very important. Please watch over him especially well." 

"We will, we promise." they said in unison, looking at the child in awe. 

Mew then again disappeared. 

Jesse held the baby girl and smiled "I want to name her Bonnie, after that song I used to love. You know, 'My Bonnie lies over the ocean!'" 

James picked up the boy that looked like him "Oh the only name for YOU is Clyde, you weigh as much as a Clydesdale!" 

Putting Clyde down, James picked up the winged one "What name could I possibly give you? You're going to be something great someday, according to Mew. I can't think of anything." 

"Why dontcha just call him 'The Kid'" Meowth suggested "There's greatness in simplicity." 

"That's a great idea...but its no name for a child, what will he write on his tests at school?" 

"Well, his real name could be Billy, that's pretty simple too." Jesse suggested 

"Alright then, you're Billy...The Kid." James chuckled. 

The happy family cuddled there in the glow of the fireplace. The Kid really DID grow up to be something great...but that's another fanfic. 

The End....or IS it? 

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